serendipti's Diaryland
Diary
4:58 p.m. - Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2005
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bored on call at masonic....update about not much
here in the hospital....have not done a thing for 7 hours....this rotation has made me realize the extent to which being busy...any kind of busy....is a true true blessing. Endless hours of idle time are indeed the recipe for madness. I know, I know, maybe I should do something productive.....well, it has been as low as 20 degrees, we had our first snow that actually stuck on the ground last night, and all I can do is fixate on what I want to eat and when I am going to sleep. that is truly all I can think about. It is really physiology....I cannot control these hibernatory instincts. I had a you-know-winter-is-almost-here moment when I was looking at the sky, watching a flock of birds flying, and I found myself whispering 'fly fly away...get out while you can.'
good times in the chi.
When you are on call, you stay till about ten. My intern has not paged me once, and I guess there are no patients that she has gotten. I have about 5 more of these calls and then I am free from Internal Medicine. Not the field for me, thankee verrr much. I really don't like being in the hospital....all those hospital smells....a mixture of baked chicken, feces and disinfectant.....no puedo hacerlo. All the hospital smells swimming around all day...I can't do it. At least this rotation has allowed me to be lazier that I can even remember ever being. So that has been sort of nice, I guess, but has definitely had its moment, and I am pretty much over it. I just happened to be at a site that has a low pt volume and not a lot of emphasis on teaching....damn shame really, but it is almost done. 21 more days....yeeehaw.
So it seems as if everybody is going through these huge life decisions....career path decisions, partner for the rest of my life decisions....what happened to the days when we talked to our friends about whether or not we were going to play handball or kickball baseball for recess? I miss those types of conundrums...I do. Nowadays it is all, what should I do with my life, who should I spend my life with sort of stuff.....it can be a bit much sometimes.
My bhai and bhabhi and Rohun are in India, and dad and mom join them this weekend. It is interesting to feel so left out when it really is a choice...I could have chosen to take time off, done a short rotation, and then delayed getting the degree....but it is a choice that I will be here....why is the fact that it is a choice feel like little solace? I don't get it.
Anyway, I found out I can graduate as early as summer (Aug) of next year. So even though I took a ton of time off, I will be only a summer behind my class. I just need to figure out a way to get 8 weeks of clinical research credit for some Prof over the next 6 months. I hope I can find something interesting to do. Also, this means that I can be in Cali by mAy and finish off the rest couple months there....isn;t that awesome? I have been feeling this really great sense of calm knowing that this chapter really will be coming to an end soon. And I am not trippin off the fact that I have no idea what i want to do with this MD, if anything....it'll work out...it has to.
This is a blase blase entry, but I needed to write something to try and get back in the swing of things. What else.....my heating bill was a cool hundee, that hurt. My Rohun does little tricks now....they say, rohun, what does a donkey do? and then he answers: honchi...honchi (that is the Indian version of hee-haw....just like guau guau is the Spanish version of bark bark). And then you say, Rohun, be angry....and then he flares his nostrils and starts breathing in and out really fast with his nose....you guys, I freakin miss him so much....I never knew my life could feel all empty and crap because of a little jumbee, but there you go.
Me and Grace and Amy are going to have a T-giving dinner together....all of us are vegetarian, and we didn't feel like crashing one of our friend's family's tgiving, so I am thinking of making some cheese empanadas tomorrow. I am going to look up recipes right now.
Anyway you guys, I hope you have a bit of time off, and a good meal with some loved ones over the next few days.
love you
Dipti
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