serendipti's Diaryland Diary

5:36 p.m. - Monday, Mar. 21, 2005

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grandkids are the interest

i was asking mumby about how she feels towards Rohun, whether her attachment to him is different than it was to her own kids....she is like, no, its the same. I pressed and was like, but mom, you don't breastfeed him, you don't wake up with him at night....how is it the same? And she was like, (and here is the quotable quote), "let me put it this way, my kids are the principle, and grandkids are the interest."
You gotta love real estate people.
I died.
Rohun comes back from the Barea tonight, a more than welcome distraction from the purgatory that has become my life.
Yes, a bit dramatic, but you try studying for the same test for like a year.
And feeling like you are doing the Paula Abdul 2 steps forward two steps back every couple months.....like you are the one in a stagnant swamp going moldy while everyone else's life is rife with movement and flow....even turbulent flow would be a welcome distraction, although not coupled with a hypercoagulable state.
apologies.
I got a lovely gift of a paper journal from this lovely person I am blessed to have met recently, and I know that writing in the online journal has been a bit spotty of late, and there are so many things that I want to write about that I do not want to do so in the 'public domain' so to speak, so I think that I might be making the transition to paper again, after so long Hopefully, this will not impair our relationship, but it is a necessary step.
I watched "sometimes in April" with my parents the night before, which is about the Rwandan genocide, and I also watched Hotel Rwanda about two weeks back, because you know, you can never have too many Rwandan genocide movies in a given fortnight, can you? Needless to say, I have been haunted by both films, and they have made me feel even more useless than I have been feeling, which I did not think was possible, but there you go, I was like, omigod, all I do is leech resources from this earth, that is my only role......accccckkkk. (that was a Cathy aaaccckk, from the insufferable comic strip character whom I always intuited needed professional help, even as a fifth grader, I knew as much about her)
Anyway, so these days I have been quite the Debbie Downer, so much so that when I talked to Laurel the other day, I debbie downered her down with me. Awesome feeling to bring down the people you love, no?
SO Rohun comes home, thank God, at a very necessary juncture, and I get to watch him sleep and be filled with some much needed joy. I ordered this amazingly beautiful CD of lullabies by this group called the Innocence Mission, and they have taken all these songs that we know, like Edelweiss and Moon river, and did a sort of 'lullabification' so to speak, and these songs are amazing. This is the first CD I have bought in maybe ten years. I am going to learn how to sing and play these songs on the guitar so I can sing them to Rohun.
I could write more, but I have to go take an absurd amount of Path questions because Phyllis has me on a schedule.

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