serendipti's Diaryland Diary 3:49 p.m. - Friday, Sept. 17, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ouch. bush and co are not the only ones into preemption today I got preemptively dumped. from a preemptive relationship. and I have to say Dipti feels *real* good about it. by a boy who is so flamingly gayseeming, that when I spoke of him to my friends, I would call him ITC X. (X being his name, ITC meaning in the closet.) Too lovely to be heterosexual, it seemed. But today, desafortunadamente, he seems REALLY heterosexual. Just a different brand of the heterosexual twentysomethingboys that I have had the utmost pleasure encountering these last many years. But it is one thing to be preemptively dumped by a friend who is a girl (I had the distinct joy of being in a situation like this with Amy like a year ago), but it burns the way it would if i actually *had* been in somesort of a malefemaley relationship with him, which I wasn't. And you know, I would have been SO fine just being his friend, because he IS (in spite of a lot of what I am feeling right now), beautiful, but I guess he can't deal or something. I am having back2back days of having to watch the back (one literally, one figuratively (i.e. emailey)) of a gorgeous boy as he walks away from me, and though there are no real overlaps, maybe, they are so close on the timespacecontinuum, that maybe there is a reason to juxtapose both events and think about their similarities. Or maybe that will depress me further. I really wish I could concentrate on endo-fucking-metriosis, because reading about random and painful bleeding out your vagina really seems a lot more cheery than juxtaposing the whys and wherefores of this overlap. (doesn't wherefore mean why, thus isn't that redundant?) So today I am sad. And kind of confused. (I'm confusing.) At least I really enjoyed my reply back to him. The little things. Angry, frustrated, pissed off sad. Apparently I was being 'saved' from a world of this that was allegedly imminent. Thanks. On the flipside, I will be writing to you, gentle reader, a hell of a lot more. He ended up being the carrier of my story, the reason for breaks, my sense of connection during seemingly interminable hours of studying. But now, thanks to him, YOU'RE IT! right after i got his email, I was whisked away by Sheila to have ethiopian buffet with her and Pisser. So we had this pseudosexandthecitywithoutthebourgiebackdropandthepradabagsandthemanolowhateverthefuckhisnameisshoes conversation about manboys. And pisser had the quote of the month: you know how sometimes we say, where are all the guys are age? well, they're all hiding in their houses, afraid of themselves. too floggin good to be true. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||