serendipti's Diaryland Diary 10:42 a.m. - Tuesday, Aug. 31, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- weird yucky death dreams okay, i have had a series of baddreams, aka, nightmares, of late. Friday night, I had dreamt that my friend Marla (who was killed in a bombing of her University's cafeteria in Jerusalem), was somehow 'back', but not for real, like this digitally remastered robotic person, and they had tried to download all these memories into her. ANd so we were on this boat, and all her family and friends were visiting with her, but then when I went up to her all excited, she really didn't remember me, there was no recognition, although she asked after my brother, which was prolly one of the facts about me that they had downloaded into her. So then I burst into tears upon realizing that there was really no way they could bring Marla back. And then I was getting comforted my Mr. Whittington, my friend from highschool who was the book-guy, i.e. in charge of textbook distribution, whom I adore and am in touch with. I don't know why he was there, but he was, and I was glad for it, w/in the context of being so heartbroken over fakeyrobot Marla. So then when I woke up, I was like, Dad, can we walk by Marla's garden before we work out....it is at the Berkeley Hillel, this little memorial garden for her (I painted the concrete bench light and dark blues and helped plant these red flowers that Daddy said i should know the name of), and so we went by, and it was pretty, but I think they need to water it more, it looked dry, and maybe I can help them water it this month that I am here, and anyway, so dad got to see the garden, and I was a bit sad. So last night, I have this dream that one of my brother's friend's wives was dead....she just miscarried, so maybe that is why I thought that....and I saw her little frail, dead body and it was depressing, and then there was a dream that either Niki or Mandy was getting married, and also dying of cancer any day now, and we were watching their reception slide show, but Mandy was in the car, cuz she was so sick, but we were trying to convince her to come join us.....hmmm....and then our house got robbed, and there was this awful sense of violation, but then I discovered they didn't take anything that meant anything, only the TVs, and they left mom and dad's crappy, non-working-well black and white (which I have been pleading for mom to chuck), and so in the dream I was like, see mom? Even the robbers wouldn't take your crappy TV. So anyway, analyze that. Or not. Death dreams suck, even if its not you who are dying. Went thrift store shopping with Pisser ayer because I left chicago so suddenly that I did not go back to my storage space to get clothes, and none of my 2 pants that I brought here fit me anymore cuz I lost weight, and feeling sicky and skinny and weaky is depressing, so we hit up the Goodwill and the more hip Buffalo Exchange, and bought cute girly things (well, anything not oversized and basketball shirty I consider cute and girly), and so now I have clothes that I fit in....okay, look hot in is more like it, but I tried to do the humble thing....it didn't feel right. GOing to study Biochem for three hours now, and if I get work done, will hit up this Ethiopian veggie buffet with Sheila and Pisser. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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